Why I stopped and why I’ve started again

hesitation - hemingwayIt’s been about four months since my last post and during this time I have made no progress with my writing and play. I haven’t done anything because as well as The Fear, I’m conscious that the next step I hope to take requires commitment. Not that writing doesn’t require commitment too, obviously it does, however I’m referring to a different type of commitment. It’s a personal circumstances thing which won’t affect everyone but has caused me to…hesitate. I have deliberately avoided taking any further steps.

But recently I was thinking about something completely unrelated that helped get me back on track. In 1983 I joined a karate club. After three years I was ready to take my black belt grading, but I didn’t. For four more years I trained, competed and instructed but didn’t go for my black belt. And then something snapped…the cruciate ligament in my knee.  Karate was no more for me.

When I think about it now I wish I had just gone for that black belt when I had the chance instead of putting it off. It was during one of these moments of reflection that I realised if I continue to do nothing with my play, in the future I will have not one, but two ‘what if/if only’ examples to tell my grandchildren about. I’d rather tell them about how I tried and failed, or even tried and succeeded. There is a fairly common saying that we tend to regret the things we didn’t do, not the things we did, which seems a fair point.

The reason for writing this post was simply to remind myself in years to come, that it wasn’t all plain sailing. It wasn’t just a continuous process that gathered momentum like a piece of cheese that’s been sent down Cooper’s Hill. There were times when it was more like trying to push a piece of cheese uphill, in the rain, against the wind, in a suit of armor.

If this post does resonate with you, you might find it useful to read Chapter 13 of Richard Templar’s book The Rules of Life

So that’s it, I’m back on track. No more doubt or hesitation, hopefully.

“Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in.” Napoleon Bonaparte