The original goal was to have my play performed somewhere, in front of a real live audience.
But now that I’ve finished writing and editing it’s time to face the reality that it has to leave the security of my own computer. If anything else is to happen with the play, I have to take the decision to actually show it to someone else, whether that be a creative director, a theatre group, an audience, a drama school teacher – that means it’s going to be judged. And that’s a concern because how do I know if it’s any good. I can’t trust my own opinion, I’m biased.
I’m sure that I’m not the first person to feel this way about something they have written/created/devised. Self-doubt is human nature. For me, the required action is not to overcome it, but to carry on despite of it and to appreciate that it is an indicator of something that I must do in order to advance.
I guess the answer is to be positive and have faith in what I have created. Put it out there and see what happens. Geoff Talbot put it simply in his blog post on Seven Sentences where he says ‘nothing happens when you hide.’
So the next step for me is to look at the various options in order to move closer to realising my dream of having this play performed. Time for more research, which I’m sure will be the subject of another blog post.
P.S. A little bit of fear remains, but that’s okay, it keeps me focused.